Knowing that part of the somberness and mourning ritual of the nine days includes an abstention from doing laundry, is money laundering included in that ban?

Additionally, may one clean the skeletons out of his closet by airing his dirty laundry during that time, or is that similarly forbidden?

Please, CYLMobster before following any of the answers.

This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

During the Nine Days, a Jew's mazel is lessened. For this reason, one should delay court cases (if possible) until afterwards. Similarly, one should minimize business transactions during such times (ממעטין במשא ובמתן).

As such, it would appear to be more dangerous to launder money during this time frame, for both of these reasons. Worse mazel also makes it likely that the skeletons in the closet will stay in plain sight, and the dirty laundry may remain aired for a long time to come, which is not what you want.

Accordingly, I would recommend against it.

Also, the impact of Tish'a B'Av would be lessened if the mourning was an effect of being in prison.

In the post you cited (Kibus (Laundry) During the Nine Days), the reason for avoiding such action is:

it will appear as if one is removing his attention from the mourning [of the Beis Hamikdash - my addition]

This would seem to apply to money laundering as well. If however, the person laundering money is the Gizbar (the treasurer of the Beis Hamikdash), it is permitted. Some authorities even permit money-laundering for synagogue treasurers as well, but other are strict.

Laundering money is forbidden. One is not supposed to iron during the 9 days. Unless you want wet wrinkled money. Then, perhaps you can do it. But wet money gets ink all over your hands and feh! Who likes wrinkled dollar bills, anyway?

Airing dirty laundry is also forbidden. Why would you want to put your dirty laundry on the radio for all to hear it? Dirty laundry makes music. Trust me, I hear my socks dancing around my machine all the time. It's like a disco! You're not allowed to listen to music during the 9 days.

Cleaning skeletons - I don't get that idea at all. What is there to clean? They're not wearing any clothes! Oh - you mean like making them clean for your biology class? Yeah - that should be OK. Just don't put any new clothes on them. Of course, then, they wouldn't be skeletons.